Triplet Mom
Them: Tanja, what was it like having Triplets?
Me: Do not recommend
I love every single one of my children. Without a doubt, AND, human beings were not intended to have litters. Just sayin.
They are not a collective. They each have their own personality and identity. They each have likes, dislikes, and meltdowns, because they are each individual human beings. Not loving them like a group, can be difficult for people to extrapolate. Bella isn't going to give a flying rip what the boys want....and vice versa. Even with the boys, one is athletic, and the other is scary at video games. They're each their own show.
For the vast majority of it, I'm positive I've done a great job, and it didn't happen without me going mental once or twice. I drank daily while they were age 2-4 years old. There are additional components to that as well. It wasn't all them. This gig isn't for the faint of heart. I think all my control issues, and selfishness were completely broken down by the journey of bringing these little babies into the world, and raising them.
I wanted to have a third child, and I was approaching 30 years old. I went to the doctor, because I wasn't getting pregnant. We tried Clomid for 3 months on the lowest dose, and nothing happened. When my gynecologist upped the dose... Surprise! Three babies! *Be cautious about being friends with your OB, they really want to help you, and feel bad for you, if you're not successful!*
I was asking God for 3 children. He gave me triplets. Watch what you say when you're praying and manifesting!
I carried them to 33 weeks and 5 days, and they each were 4lbs. That is a huge accomplishment! I had hyperemesis (A fancy way of saying I never stopped throwing up ever!) almost the entire time, and was on bed rest most of it, because I had a low-laying placenta with there being so many babies in my tummy! Every time we'd visit the doctor in the beginning, they'd tell me not to expect Bella to be there the next time. She's the biggest personality of them all! Her in-utero development might have given us some foreshadowing of her being Autistic. Difficult to tell. We were given the choice of "reducing" her. The politically correct way of offering to abort her. I'm glad I didn't do that every day when I look at her.
Setting out in life, when you choose to get married, you have a 50% shot of it working out with average things going on. That statistic reduces even more with multiple birth parents. The more multiples...the less the odds are in your favor. Add a special needs child to that, even lower. I had already had 2 girls before them as well. Be kind to each other.
I wouldn't have changed any of it. Not a bit. I'm very proud to look at them each day, and see what they are still in the process of becoming. I got to have sons who think I hung the moon, and a little girl who is the embodiment of joy, and one of the purest spirits I've ever been around. I know who God is because of them.
People asked me how I felt about "Octomom." She had her children a year or so after mine. I think we all can agree at this point, with no dispute, what she did was irresponsible. I knew watching it unfold, it wasn't going to be good. They are all little people. Each one of them. They are not a group or a collective. Multiples just come out at the same time..that is all. Big Love!
We are given two arms, and two parents for a reason. Each child deserves that much love and care.
There have been so many moments I questioned my worth and value as a mother on this journey. Life was almost never perfect, and I made the choice to have them only thinking it was going to be. It all ended up great though! I can't think of us any other way.
Who would I have been without these kids? What changes would I have never made about myself? I doubt I'd associate with whoever that person would have been. I'm a better person because of them.
