Toxic Relationship with a serious Drug Addict

You have not come face to face with the Devil, himself, until you've confronted someone on Meth. I've met Mr. Meth/Mr. Crack/Mr. Cocaine, personally. To say he was an a$$ hole, and so are those drugs would be kind.

I actually knew Mr. Meth/Crack/Cocaine when I was younger. Admittedly, I didn't know too much about him, but was in close proximity often, and we had some similar friends at that time. Even though he wasn't particularly known for being nice....he was revered.

It so happened, that 7 days after I filed for divorce from my ex-husband, and the day after my oldest graduated High School, Mr. Meth/Crack/Cocaine reached out to me asking if I remembered him from back in the day. I can't deny being flattered he remembered me at all, so we started talking. He was thinking about moving back to Houston, and he was just checking in to see what was going on, and who I kept up with. A couple of weeks before my divorce was finalized, I closed on a home, and decided to visit where he lived for my birthday. He moved back the first week of October after.

He told me he had a traumatic brain injury, and it caused him to be short-tempered, and he was embarrassed by it. That fact, ended up being what caused me to constantly ignore my intuition every single time something happened. No one thought I was ever going to leave the relationship alive. To this day, my two oldest daughters are angry with me about this relationship, and many friends from the time, have remained distant.

Please understand, this man is a professional person with a Bachelor’s degree, and everything you hear about, read about, and watch on TV about people with addictions to these drugs is true, and it happened to myself and my family as well. He stole money, he stole my shoes, he stole my kids' video games, he stole my eldest's Versace eyeglass frames....he even stole my engagement ring from my ex-husband at one point, and brought it back in a semi "Come to Jesus" moment. I was gaslit constantly by him, and everyone around me despised him. They still do, and I still bear the cross for allowing him into my life.

I wish I could say I left after the story I'm about to tell you, but I didn't. I helped him into rehab, and we got engaged on cruise after him beating me black and blue, because I couldn't remember exactly what time my brother brought something over to my house that day, while he was checking the security on my own house, which he did not own, or live in. Nope. We still got engaged.....

I got my kids ready for school in August one year. It actually might have been their first day. I can't remember. I was completely exhausted and didn't feel like doing anything after. He wanted me to go to Verizon with him, and fix the account, or add him back on it. I can't quite remember. All I can remember is, I couldn't make myself go. We had already almost been dating a year on and off. It was full of drama, and trauma and my oldest had already moved out due to his behavior. Annoyed...he went on his own. He ended up getting in an argument with the person at Verizon, and rage-texted me the entire way to my house....which I was accustomed to. I was in the bathtub, and I could feel this time was especially off....He brought food to the house, and let himself in because he had a key. I told him I was in the bathtub, which made him suspicious for some reason....I told him I wasn't going to come downstairs, and he needed to not come upstairs.

To cut a long story short, there was a couple of hours of silence and us being on separate floors, and he waited for me to have to come downstairs and get something from the kitchen. Eventually....he knew I'd have to come downstairs.

I ignored him. Got water, and went back upstairs.

That pissed him off.

He ended up lunging for me in my bedroom. I was only in a pink Victoria's Secret bathrobe. The fight of my life was on. He was high, which I didn't know, or understand, at the time. I have no idea if his goal was to frighten me or to actually kill me. There were so many phases of the fight, and me getting away. He broke my nose with his knee, he smothered me with a pillow, and I was sexually assaulted in the process. It was with his hand....I promise you it doesn't matter what is put there involuntarily, the trauma is still the same. He broke and threw things in my home. Glass was everywhere....just in time for my children to come home to it. My favorite bathrobe, and I were covered in blood.

I had intended for the kids to go to the park while I spoke to the police, but it started raining, and Olivia ended up hearing my whole account of the situation because her bedroom was downstairs. She's still not over it, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Shortly after, he would get arrested for falling asleep in his car at a gas station, and I'd pay his bail. They drug tested him while there, (2 year hair follicle test) and that's when his attorney told me the results came back chronic use of meth. I was so shocked, and couldn't process it. I was so naïve, and I didn't really even understand what they were saying to me, or what any of the words meant. He was either going to go to jail, or rehab. He went the rehab way.....I had high hopes, but it didn't stick, because the rules didn't apply to him.

It's been roughly 6 years since he's been gone out of my life, and the story and experience is still fresh to everyone around me. I've forgotten much, but it remains alive and real for others.

It was one of the many weak points in my life. I got out. You can too....and you should. None of it ends up being just about you in the end, and it lasts for longer than you have any control over.

There's no valuable relationship with someone who is committed to addiction. There's no value in remaining in a relationship where you're assaulted. Get out the first time. The reason things "escalate" is because they go directly for whatever got you under control the last time. They don't waste time in taking it right there immediately. That's why "they" escalate. You have a fear of the last time, and what did you in, and they know what resolved the issue the previous time. They take it right there. “Escalation.”

Listen to your kids. Listen to your friends. Don't stay. The first time.