Narcissistic Abuse. A True Story!

𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 & 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, & 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, & 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞!

𝙼𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝.

𝐼𝑡’𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑟𝑦, 𝑠𝑜 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑖𝑡, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 offer 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝐢𝐬 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 #Wisdom

I had every intention of doing a testimonial post today, which was going to be pretty watered down, because when I don’t, my ex husband sues me, my parents help, & my children get brainwashed & manipulated. Then the kids end up hurt & in serious situations, because they don’t understand. They’re kids….even at 28, 20, & 17,17,17 years old.

𝗠𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵𝘀 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱.

That’s the very first & main problem, because, #imageIsEverything to them.

Cassie Lynn Messer made a post this morning that damn near brought me to tears. I was going to do a testimonial regardless, because that’s what I had scheduled…we’re gonna dive deeper though.

𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝.

I drank 2 bottles of wine (Riesling or Moscato) a day.

I literally wished for a truck 🛻 to hit me every day, because I was too terrified to handle it myself.

My kids were what saved me each day & grounded me, because I knew what they’d be left with, if I was gone. Exactly what’s happening in the past 3 years specifically, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 13 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑠．

Each day, I’d look at them & there’d be a tiny light 💡 & will to live knowing I got to be their mom. I loved being their mom. I watched every Oprah & Dr Phil to learn what I could.

I had gotten into a second marriage, where from the time I was pregnant with my 20 year old, I was cheated on constantly… and I knew it.

𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑡．

By the time my triplets were born, it was a known thing amongst friends & his coworkers.

I didn’t have the will or brainpower to look at his multiple phones & computers. They were all work related, so they were password protected.

There were a few messages & phone calls I asked about & I was gaslit into being dramatic, crazy & overreacting. So the most I would do is scream, cry & cower down.

My family wouldn’t tolerate a negative thing said about my ex husband. They could not understand why I had so many “things” & money…”why I wasn’t happy?” I was a “selfish, spoiled brat.”

𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚓𝚘𝚋. 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢 𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛.

I started real estate 🏡 to gain some control in 2013.

I was in a networking group called #HardcoreCloser , specifically #TheTribe by 𝐑𝐲𝐚𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐰𝐦𝐚𝐧. And it was mentioned to me I should meet 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐢 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤, by 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐤.

I watched her content, & reached out to her. She allowed me to be in her group, because 𝐑𝐲𝐚𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐰𝐦𝐚𝐧 & 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐤 were her brothers from 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧’𝐬 group. Not bad people to know 🫶🏻♥️ 11 years ago, or now.

Marci told me I was living a BS life. Telling BS stories to myself, & asked me if I wanted to live in a loveless, sexless, marriage. And if I thought drinking & taking anxiety meds & anti depressants each day was a good idea. It was a matter of time before I was unalive.

She told me I needed to leave my marriage, no matter what that looked like to me.

I told her I had 5 kids, & no money. She repeated “No matter what that looks like for you”.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟓 , 𝐈 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟓. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝟏𝟎 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭.

Nᴇxᴛ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ, ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ 10 ʏᴇᴀʀs sɪɴᴄᴇ ⵊ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴄɪsɪᴏɴ.

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟕. 𝐻𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚.

My parents aren’t over me being “so selfish because the kids had so much” & who was going to take care of them in old age now? They continue to punish. They also loved, that at that time, my ex husband was famous in the oil field & that was something they could claim & talk about. Their closest friends, are from when I was on drill team. They used me to make friends when we moved to this country. After they abandoned me & my step brother. I came 2 years later. He never came. 𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎s #Canada , 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑟𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑟 33 - 35 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑔𝑜. They just wanted to leave.

My step father isolated my mother from her entire family, coerced her into leaving me. Why not? He was leaving his only son. The child they had together, was the important one. It had “the proper” DNA 🧬 compared to the rest of us.

Having a mother SO completely detached is harmful. Nothing was more important than my stepfather & what he wanted. Nothing. It was the same as being addicted to crack or meth. Nothing else mattered.

I was told my entire life my biological father was an alcoholic, horrible, & physically abusive to my mother. That he didn’t pay child support, & I’d constantly get punished for mentioning him or for loving him. Guilt, manipulation, verbal abuse & actual physical abuse by those days standards. 𝐵𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑤𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙．

The thing about my biological father was, he wasn’t the one who actually lacked empathy. He had a full & massive heart. What he lacked was an ability to express emotions properly, so it came out in name calling & swearing.

It made it incredibly easy for my step father to point at my biological father, call him an alcoholic, & all the #Sheeple would follow suit, without question. It made the brainwashing simpler for my step father.

When my dad died 6 months before Olivia started getting chemotherapy, my family realized my protection was gone, & I’ve been sued non stop since.

My dad’s side of the family disowned me for saying “had my father not had alcohol issues his subdural hematoma would have healed “. They said he hated facebook, but my stepmother had his funeral live-streamed on facebook. #Facts

My stepmother kept what my father left for me inheritance- wise. Which probably wasn’t much, but I could have fought the lawsuits or helped my children.

I can only assume to collect my inheritance, that documents & IDs were forged 🤷🏼‍♀️ because I didn’t provide them to anyone personally.

What they attempt to link everything to is someone I dated after my divorce, who I knew from high school….. he ended up being on meth & cocaine. I had no idea until he was arrested. He didn’t have it around me, or my kids. He was embarrassed & I was who he was living off of. I put him through rehab, but he behaved poorly.

My family & ex husband use 𝒉𝒊𝒔 story as if it was mine to gain attention, & to justify their actions. I’ve never done meth in my life, & needed the police, attorneys & his mother to explain it to me. I made excuses for him having a traumatic brain injury the entire time, because that’s what I thought.

My two oldest hold grudges from this still, & it’s been 7-8 years passed. I just made a horrible choice in “a man”. I didn’t do the things he did. He’s a degreed person & was a head coach at a high school. Supposed to be great with kids.

𝑆𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑠．

I have an ex husband wanting to burn all bridges, so I come back to him like a gangster movie.

And I have parents having no issue using my children as pawns, because that’s what they did with theirs.

Eᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪs ᴛᴏ sᴀᴠᴇ ꜰᴀᴄᴇ.

𝑰𝒇 𝑰 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈!

𝕀 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕪𝕖𝕕 & 𝕔𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕖𝕕.

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐈𝐒 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞.

This chain of events shortly after made me realize theres nothing more important than being mentally, physically, & emotionally healthy 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝, 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲 and 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 … So I made a commitment to optimize my health for the rest of my life. Then I realized after that, that health was fun, simpler than I thought and I felt dramatically different then I did when I was unhealthy. Its amazing whats on the other side of everything stopping you from committing to your health.

I know I resisted my healthiest life for YEARS.

Only regret is waiting so long!

𝐋𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒：

🧘🏻‍♀️ Meditate 5 min a day- guidance will be given

🌿 Take detox herbs daily- we will all be taking the same protocol

🛼 30 min of movement daily- workouts provided or walking, pickle ball, any movement counts

📖 10 min of reading or listening to PD- suggestions provided

🥑 Eat whole meals with real food no fake or fast food- recipes and grocery list provided

Doing this for 30 days will set the tone for the year mentally, physically & energetically. Health is not just one area, but many which what makes this challenge so impactful.

𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐎, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐦 “𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠”

🫶🏻♥️

(Check my socials for more to read, I’ve posted much more there over the past couple of years.)

#StartStrongChallenge #StartStrong #Challenge #HolisticHealthMovement #NewYearStrongerMe #NewYearNewMe #NewYearNewYou #WellnessJourney #HolisticHealth #HolisticHealing #HolisticLiving #AllNatural #AllNaturalProducts #TanjaVargo #MindBodyAndSoulMentor #MindBodyAndSoul #VitalHealth #VitalHealthGlobal #NarcissisticAbuseSurvivor #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticFamily #Narcissist #Empath #Empathy